by Waneta Dennis
I am a cradle Anglican baptised and confirmed. Growing up the Church was a big part of our life.
About 25 years ago, with the children grown and off to University I started attending Holy Trinity, in Ajax, on a regular basis, got involved and really enjoyed my church family. When Holy Trinity closed, I joined All Saints it was wonderful. AND THEN my husband suffered a traumatic brain injury at work in 2008 and our lives were turned upside down. He eventually was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, believed to be brought on by the accident and went down hill quickly and I got mad, really mad, at God and blamed it all on him. How could he (God) do this to us when life was so good. He knew we were making plans for retirement and now Max is in Long Term Care and doesn’t know me and can’t do anything for himself. How could he (God) do this to us, to me? It wasn’t fair and I lost my faith and trust in God.
Fast Forward again, about 2 years, I was visiting Max, as I did most days, except on the days or at a time when they had any kind of religious service because I wasn’t having any part of that. However, on this day, they had a service or were going to and as I was walking past the lounge, the Altar was out. I can’t explain it, but I was literally drawn to it as if someone was pulling me and as I knelt at the Altar, I wept, uncontrollably, as I hadn’t before and I felt a hand on my shoulder that practically frightened the life out of me. When I turned around, it was the Chaplain. She asked if I was alright. I told her no and I told her my story. We chatted for a very long time, and it was at that moment, while talking to her, that I realized that none of what was happening was God’s doing or God’s fault.
I returned to All Saints the following Sunday, where I had friends and a church family that helps me through times when I am struggling, and I haven’t looked back. As my faith journey continues, I still have lots of questions and so much to learn, but I know that God loves me and will help me face whatever may lie ahead.
Prayer: I share with you now the following verse from John 14:27 NIV
Peace I leave with you;
my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.