Thoughts of the Day this month are part of a special series in Epiphanytide, the time between Epiphany Sunday and Lent, during which we hear gospel stories of the growing faith of the disciples and of the revelation that Jesus is truly the son of God.  

To mark this time, members of our congregation share stories of their own faith journeys and Epiphany moments that have inspired them and drawn them deeper into faith.  

---

Thought and Prayer of the Day
by
Sivana Namasivayam

My name is Sivana Namasivayam. I am a member of the Wednesday morning prayer community at All Saints.  I was born in a Hindu family, yet at age 46 I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.

My journey to the Christian faith took time.  Like many Hindus I had a soft spot for Jesus Christ. I had been to church and I worshiped him as another god but I never read the Bible nor knew the purpose of His death on the cross.

As I grew up my parents called me a sick child. I remember being sick physically and mentally and facing bad luck and hardship one after another. I concluded that I was cursed, and I did not like my existence.

Due to the hardship and difficulties in my life, I started to grow away from worshipping Hindu gods.  During that time, I did go to church once and I felt the presence of a God who would help me. It was mass time and I took communion. I heard that the bread is His body and the wine is His blood. I was still upset with God in general at this time but I was curious about Jesus. I took the communion to see what would happen. I put in my mouth seriously thinking as His body and blood. I was going home after the Mass, and vividly remember feeling an unfamiliar happiness come over me. But I continued with my life of anger toward God.

I did not worship for 10 years because I was frustrated and saw no point in God. I was still suffering. Once I expressed my anger toward God, I looked up in the sky and began to curse him with all my might.  After this outburst, I noticed small voice, deep down telling me “sit down and pray.”  Of course, I ignored it, but I certainly noticed that every time I went by the church, I got this urge to go in and pray; however the church always seemed to be closed at those times.  Eventually I decided to obey the small voice telling to sit down and pray. I started to take up praying to Hindu gods again, but nothing happened, and I was still hearing the small voice.

One morning in August of 2021, I woke up and sat down and I said to myself ‘I need God,’ and I said, “JESUS COME INTO MY HEART’.   As soon I said that I had a sensation of air plowing into my heart, and I felt goosebumps on my skin. I also felt peace and happy at the same time. That peace I never felt it anywhere, I was so peaceful I thought I was going to fall asleep. I noticed a big change in me that day and of course I was curious about what happened.

I started to read the Bible, but I wanted to know what God want me to do.  So, I asked in prayer “what do You want me to do? A word came out of my mouth “Baptize.”   As soon as I said that my first reaction is “’why did I say that?”   I wasn’t thinking about baptism or anything for that matter. I was shocked when I said that and thought maybe I was just mumbling.  Still curious and doubting, I prayed again and asked God to give me a sign or show me something. I am a person who wants tangible evidence in order to believe. On that day on the way to work, I went to check mail and there it was a pamphlet, and, on that Pamphlet, it said “Do you have a date of birth?” Inside it said “You needed a new date of birth by Baptism and give your life to Jesus Christ”

A week later, I was Baptized and received The Holy Spirit and became a Christian. From that day forward, my life has been whirlwind.   I thought I was going crazy. One by one He is working on me. And He keeps on convincing me that He is real, every time I doubt Him.

It is true Jesus Christ heals, renews and builds and especially saves people if we let Him into our lives. My life started to make sense now. I know who I am and my purpose. I am hopeful and looking forward to my future with my Lord and Savior. He is the Way, the life and the Truth.

Prayer or Verse: 

This is my favorite Bible verse, Mathew 11:28
“Jesus said ‘Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.’

Thoughts of the Day this month are part of a special series in Epiphanytide, the time between Epiphany Sunday and Lent, during which we hear gospel stories of the growing faith of the disciples and of the revelation that Jesus is truly the son of God.  

To mark this time, members of our congregation share stories of their own faith journeys and Epiphany moments that have inspired them and drawn them deeper into faith.  

---

Thought and Prayer of the Day
by James Burrow

I didn’t realize I needed God until a gloomy November afternoon, when I was 22, in 2008.  Up until that point, He had been there in the background – at Sunday school as a kid, at bible camp, and while I studied religion in high school – but I never needed Him until that moment.  Plenty of people would argue that needing God isn’t a good reason for believing in Him.  Maybe they’re right. I don’t really care.  There are plenty of other good reasons for believing in God, whether you think you need Him or not.

That afternoon, I was sitting at my parents table at our house just outside Edinburgh.  Bored of my university dissertation, I stared out of the window, it was almost dark and only 3pm.  The fall colour had gone, leaving the trees skeletal against a backdrop of heavy cloud scudding by.  My childhood best friend, David Argyle, had died of cancer 4 months earlier.  We were born in the same Inverness hospital 10 days apart – the 4^th and the 14^th of April 1986.  And now he was gone.

The death hadn’t affected me the way I thought it would.  I thought there would be more mourning, more crying, feeling something at least. I was simultaneously ashamed and proud of this reaction.  Ashamed at my coldness; proud of my toughness.  But that afternoon my supposed toughness evaporated in an instant: unless there was a God, David really was gone forever. We wouldn’t be reunited in an afterlife; he wasn’t free of pain and in a better place; he was dust and nothing more.  And that dust is what I would be one day, and my Mum, my Dad, and everyone who I’d ever loved.  If there’s no God, the things I held (and hold) dear were just mirages. Love – a chemical reaction in the brain. Beauty, justice – meaningless human inventions.

So that was my epiphany.  A realisation that I desperately needed God to make sense of everything in life.  It was filled with tears of grief and existential horror.  It was not a happy epiphany, because in that moment, I really didn’t think I believed in the God I needed so badly.  And that left me with nothing.

It took me a while to climb out of the depression that followed, and to believe that something like God existed.  It took me even longer to believe that Christianity might really be true.  And longer still to make it through the doors of a church and find a home.  It’s a journey that’s too long to describe here, and one that I’m still on in many ways, though now guided more by hope than fear.  A hope in God’s mercy, forgiveness and power to heal our brokenness; and a comfort in the knowledge that He loved us enough to descend into the mess of this world to save us.  It’s something I know I won’t fully understand in this life, but I do believe it.  I’m happy to tell more to anyone who’s interested.

Prayer

Christ, you have gone before me
to prepare a place for me
that where you are
there I might be also.
Teach me to wait with patience,
to watch with alertness,
to trust that you are with me
in the unknown future
and to know your presence.

Prayer by Jane Williams, professor St. Mellitus College

Transforming Questions Discussion Group – Tuesdays, 6pm

All Saints Anglican is a community that welcomes questions and conversations about faith to help us grow deeper in relationship with God and one another.

This winter, on Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, we gather for a meal, watch a video on one of the central questions of the Christian faith, and have small group conversations on the big questions of faith that really matter. This week we will be asking “Who is Jesus?”

If you haven’t registered yet but would like to join, simply scan this QR code below or register at https://transforming-questions.eventbrite.ca/

 

Thoughts of the Day this month are part of a special series in Epiphanytide, the time between Epiphany Sunday and Lent, during which we hear gospel stories of the growing faith of the disciples and of the revelation that Jesus is truly the son of God.  

To mark this time, members of our congregation share stories of their own faith journeys and Epiphany moments that have inspired them and drawn them deeper into faith.  

---

Thought and Prayer of the Day
by Keith Wager

It was a rather long and winding path which brought me to where I am today. The Anglican faith goes back a long way in my family. My Great Uncle was Reverend Earnest Teskey. But as a child I was much like others. Believed (sort of) but no particular following. I went to Sunday School at the United Church because it was the closest and we could catch a ride with the neighbour.

I wandered from one to the other, mostly none for a few years. I guess that my moment came when my daughter was born. She was in distress and like all new parents I was frantic to say the least. My mother suggested that I see Reverend Sid West at St. Paul’s On The Hill. He was a bit of a gruff person most of the time, but his calming words and the fact that he put on his coat and headed to the hospital to visit my Roman Catholic wife struck me with a force. I went through confirmation with him and as I approached the Communion rail I was overcome by a strange warmth.

I have since served All Saints’ as a Sidesperson, Lay Reader, Warden and Newsletter editor, now as chair of the Truth and Reconciliation Committee.

My interest in Canada’s Indigenous people began my first year at University of Toronto when first year Anthropology students were taken on a “dig” at a site north of Orillia. Further courses and research papers later I was intrigued by Indigenous belief systems and how they and Christianity often dovetailed together. Sometimes there were even direct comparisons such as the fact that many North American belief systems include a great flood. I was also impressed by the role nature often played in these beliefs. Indigenous beliefs at times also seemed much more tolerant on a number of fronts, even those with impairments were viewed as touched by the Creator. Care for others is also central. In many indigenous cultures, after a successful hunt the elders and infirm were fed first.

Things sort of quieted down until Stew Ball got me involved in T&R. Is this something all should care about? I believe so because, the atrocities which were committed must be known. We cannot turn a blind eye and simply say “Get over it”. To correct the errors of the past, we must all walk the path of understanding together.  I leave you with an Indigenous prayer and blessing from the Cherokee.

Prayer:

Oh Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind
I come to you as one of your many children
I need your strength and your wisdom
Make me strong not to be superior to my brother
But to be able to fight my greatest enemy:
Myself.

May the Warm Winds of Heaven
Blow softly upon your house.
May the Great Spirit
Bless all who enter there.
May your Moccasins
Make happy tracks
in many snows,
and may the Rainbow
Always touch your shoulder.